Tuesday saw us at the playgroup, where we were introduced to (among others) a child with a nose running so bad you could bottle it and sell it as crazy putty. Didn’t seem to bother the kid’s mother, or my other half, for that matter.

Rather predictably, 3 days later, down I come with the dreaded man flu. You male readers will understand immediately what I mean, whereas you women will probably think it’s just some whinging about a slight case of ‘the snuffles’. Not so. man flu is probably the most terrible thing that can ever afflict a bloke. As I lay there in bed, groaning and sweating like a fat boy on a treadmill, I thought back to the moment when I’d ‘got it’. The orange toy horse, so charmingly presented to me by Miss Runnynose. Damn.

To make matters worse, 2 hours later, the Little Fella suddenly goes pale, quiet and still. His nose starts to run. Ah, his first cold. The Missus comes steaming in looking for the temperature gauge, which says close on 38 degrees, the danger zone. And then a strange thing happens. My own man flu vanishes. I’m out of bed, showered and dressed and ready to provide anything the Little Fella needs quicker than you can say ‘Over the counter cold remedy’.

For the rest of the day, we keep him snuggled, pump him full of milk and calpol (though not together, obviously),

and check his temperature every 20 minutes. It’s terrifying to see the Little Fella like this – so full of life normally, he just looks at us as if to say ‘please make it go away’. My one hope is that he’s inherited the immune system from my side of the family (I had an immune system like an ox until I was 21, when it got decimated by a case of mono).

Eventually, he drops off, and the Missus puts him to bed, deciding to sleep in the room with him, ‘in case’. My man flu returns with a vengeance, and I’m out for the count. When I awake, the Little Fella is sitting in bed next to me, playing happily and looking as bright as the proverbial button. “He was hot until about 4 am”, says the Missus, “when he suddenly woke up, said ‘Flukorgmackle’ and went back to sleep, temperature normal again”.

I sniff heavily for effect, and wrap the duvet tighter round my aching limbs. Oh for the immune system of youth. He’s thrown it off in about 8 hours. Me, I have a couple more days of this. Coffee, please, Love. And maybe some of those biccies.

MrJustLove

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