Now while I am of course no medical expert (although I do possess a particularly large and impressive bod), I do feel qualified to talk a little bit about baby-related back pain. Here I am, 220 pounds of solid beefcake, and guess what? A 15 pound baby has given me back ache.

But why is that, I hear you ask? After all, I hoy around dumbbells a lot heavier than that when I want to loosen up. The answer is pretty simple, though it took a while to figure it out. It’s not the weight of the baby, it’s not even the wriggling. It’s definitely not the bending and straightening.

It’s the sheer amount of time you have to hold him, combined with the terrible fear of hurting him that makes the Little Fella such a lumpen weight, which leads naturally to pains in the back. To explain, it’s quite possible to have to stand pretty much immobile, holding ever so gently a large sack of potatoes in front of you, and at about mid-chest height, for 15, 20 or even 30 minutes.

Now try that with a dumbbell. You’ll start to ache after 5 minutes, no matter how Conan you are. Try it with 20 pounds of eggs, and you’ll get closer to the effect I’m talking about. The human body simply isn’t designed to take that kind of stress for the amount of time you end up carrying the Little Fella around. The position throws all the strain onto the lower back muscles, and if you’re really unlucky, your upper back intercostals. Ow.

So is there a solution? Yes, but you aren’t going to like it. Watch what the Missus does. She rests the baby on her hip, which immediately takes the strain off her back. OK, OK, so you might look a little girly, but it’s better than back pain, seriously. Rest as much of his weight on any lumpy bits you’ve got – you’ll thank me later!

MrJustLove